Friday, March 11, 2011

SPEAK EASY NOTES #50 - More Quick Tips

Here are more quick communication tips to make your life easier, to provide peace of mind, to increase your effectiveness and to raise your level of satisfaction. 

Life can be hard.  Speak Easy!

> Ask open-ended questions, giving freedom for expansive answers. Avoid YES or NO questions starting with: Is, Do, Can, Will, Are, Should.

> Avoid asking questions that begin with WHY because they can be heard as accusatory: “Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do?”

> “BUT” is a word that can negate whatever preceded it. Eliminating “BUT” can change the dynamic from combative to two-way and open.

> Remove “trying” from your communications.  AVOID: “I’m trying to finish this by Friday.” BETTER: “My goal is to finish this by Friday.”

> A look of annoyance or frustration will convey more than words; if silence is the desired communication then your face must be silent too. 

> Wanting recognition and appreciating praise are healthy desires. Dependence on praise for a sense of well-being is a formula for disaster.

> Neediness is weak and often inaccurate; there’s a distinction between desire and requirement: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”

> The best support is objective. The less involved a person is with your story, the more that person can listen and respond without bias.

> Fear and self-doubt often block communication. Respectfulness without defensiveness or aggression forms the right base to express any view.

Until next time,
The Wordsmith

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