I have been asked to take on a new responsibility at work that I am very wary of accepting for a variety of reasons:
#1 - This added responsibility will basically double my workload.
#2 - There has been zero mention of any salary increase for accepting this role.
#3 - The person I will be reporting to is known for her out-of-bounds control problem and has a reputation for imposing unsubstantiated views, implementing disorganized business practices and spreading blatant destructive lies.
If I could report to my current boss without any dotted line connection to this other manager; if I could hire an assistant to focus 100 % of his or her time on the new work and if I could get a substantial raise, I would agree to accept the new responsibility. Otherwise I am not at all willing to say yes. There is basically a big crisis that brought about this request. I am known as a loyal problem-solver who has a very dedicated team behind me. I think they really need me to save the day so I feel like I am in a position to ask for what I want. On-the-other-hand, I know it is a difficult timeframe in the job market right now so I am still hesitant to risk my job by refusing their request. One thing is for sure, there is absolutely no way I will agree to this if I have to report to “The Jerk” so please give me some good advice on how to negotiate well for myself and how to refuse altogether if I can’t get what I want. Oh, yes, I left out something important. Even though everyone in the company hates this woman, she basically has the company President totally wrapped around her little finger.
Signed,
Pressured Loyal Manager
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Dear Pressured,This is quite a delicate crossroads you are facing. How you communicate will most likely be much more important than the actual content of your communications or decision you make. At the same time that you’re feeling a lot of pressure about how to respond to this request, you’re expressing tremendous clarity about exactly what you want to convey, what you want to do and what you will not do under any circumstances. Clarity is the key to good communication and to making the decisions that are right for you. Ambivalence can be the biggest obstacle to moving forward successfully and you have expressed zero ambivalence in what you have written. Bravo!
Let’s look at the elephant in the room in this situation. It’s obvious from what you’ve written that everyone knows how difficult "The Jerk" is to work with and work for. Most likely, no one will take her on or discuss this with the President. For many years, research has demonstrated that a rocky relationship with the boss and weak management are always among the top reasons cited for why people quit their jobs.
Here are just a couple of the many links to this type of researched data:
http://www.flexexecs.com/fe_images/WOWno5.pdf
http://www.dailyhrtips.com/2010/04/23/hr-tips-top-5-reasons-downsizing/
It sounds like there are key reasons you have been selected for this role that are separate from your professional expertise and experience. You are the “loyal problem-solver” and people like to work for you. It is quite likely that it’s because of your steadfastness, strong leadership and steady work ethic that you’ve been asked to take on this responsibility. You may be seen as THE person who can fix the “big crisis” while standing up to - and keeping people calm who work for - “The Jerk”.
Basically, you have already identified exactly what the main factors are that you want to communicate. You know the precise conditions that must be incorporated for you to be able to say yes. Here are three critical elements that will contribute to making your communications successful.
KEEP IT LEVEL AND REMEMBER TO LISTEN
No matter how intimidating, discouraging, inappropriate or frustrating other people’s communications are, keep all of your own communications on an even keel. Let people know you have heard them. Acknowledge what others are saying. Leave out the “but” when you acknowledge what you have heard.
Speak to everyone with professionalism and as a respected equal.
EXPRESS CLARITY WITHOUT ULTIMATUM
The language you choose to present what is required for you to be able to accept this added workload is particularly important. You can remain clear and strong without stating demands. Avoid any comments that have these qualities to them:
“There is absolutely no way I would …”
"If you can't agree to ... , I will have no choice but to ..."
and choose instead comments that have this basic perspective:
“This is exactly how I can accomplish our required goals...”
“I will be able to do this if these important conditions are incorporated.”
FOCUS ON THE ROAD TO SUCCESS
The view you have on this right now feels like one of how daunting and impossible this situation seems to you. Your current perspectives of either “refusing and demanding” or “succumbing and giving in” are creating distortion and keeping you from seeing and experiencing the path to resolution. As soon as you can replace those perspectives with
“Here’s how we can meet this challenge successfully...”
you will be able to experience the situation differently and communicate effectively:
“The way to make this happen is…”
“What is required for success is …”
“Here are the exact components I require to do this the right way.”
Let’s take these three critical elements and apply them to
“If I could report to my current boss who I get along with so well without any dotted line connection to this other manager; if I could hire an assistant to focus 100 % of his or her time on the new work and if I could get a substantial raise, I would agree to accept the new responsibility."
“I am quite respectful of our current challenge and appreciate that you have chosen me to lead the way out of our demanding situation. I have given this careful thought and have defined what I see as necessary conditions to be able to achieve this as quickly and as successfully as possible. As I see it, these are the specific components required to do this the right way:
> Report to ( current boss) without dotted line connection to (other manager)
> Hire assistant to focus 100 % of his or her time on (new work )
> ##% increase in compensation to balance ##% increase in responsibility
> (And there may be other components that you did not include in your request.)"
There are many solid communication approaches that will increase the potential of a good outcome. You certainly may want to work closely with a coach to ensure your tone and message delivery match your intention and goals. If you convey that you’re angry or judgmental in any way, you will diminish your professionalism and weaken your positioning. If you decide that you can express what you want without a coach’s input, make sure you practice what you’re going to say with someone first who can give you objective confidential feedback on how you’re coming across.
Your strongest approach can be one of making this happen the right way. Ultimately, your final communication may end up being a well thought-out strategic refusal. The best we can ever be is when we are true to ourselves.
Once again, I am connecting your request with several sections of SPEAK EASY, The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success. In particular, you might be most interested in Chapters 8, “Refusing the Right Way” and Chapter 11, “Getting What You Want”
Until next time,
The Wordsmith
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