Life can be hard. Speak Easy!
> Ask open-ended questions, giving freedom for expansive answers. Avoid YES or NO questions starting with: Is, Do, Can, Will, Are, Should.
> Avoid asking questions that begin with WHY because they can be heard as accusatory: “Why didn’t you do what you were supposed to do?”
> Avoid “YOU SHOULD”. People seek advice yet don’t like being told what to do. “YOU SHOULD” means shared responsibility for others’ choices.
> “BUT” is a word that can negate whatever preceded it. Eliminating “BUT” can change the dynamic from combative to two-way and open.
> Remove “trying” from your communications. AVOID: “I’m trying to finish this by Friday.” BETTER: “My goal is to finish this by Friday.”
> A look of annoyance or frustration will convey more than words; if silence is the desired communication then your face must be silent too.
> Wanting recognition and appreciating praise are healthy desires. Dependence on praise for a sense of well-being is a formula for disaster.
> Neediness is weak and often inaccurate; there’s a distinction between desire and requirement: “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.”
> The best support is objective. The less involved a person is with your story, the more that person can listen and respond without bias.
> Fear and self-doubt often block communication. Respectfulness without defensiveness or aggression forms the right base to express any view.
Until next time,
The Wordsmith
