Speak Easy Note #46 - Phrases to Avoid

It's astonishing how frequently we use familiar phrases that are the opposite of our intended meaning or are completely unrelated to what we actually want to express. Since these phrases are so commonly used, we continue to say them with very little awareness of their potentially less than desirable impact and without recognizing that it would be appreciably better to eliminate them altogether or choose words instead that are much more direct and closely aligned with what we actually want to say.

Here's a list of five frequently used phrases to eliminate from your communication repertoire, accompanied by suggested choices to say in place of them:

1.
I don’t blame you for …
I definitely understand your choice to …

How interesting that we introduce blame when we wish to express understanding and alignment.

2.
To be honest, I …
I …

Whenever people feel a need to proclaim honesty prior to making a statement or expressing a viewpoint, it sets the stage for others to wonder if they've been other than honest prior to their declaration of honesty.

3.
Do you mind xxxx ...
I would appreciate it if you xxxx …. (or) Would you please xxx …

If our request is legitimate, then what's the purpose of asking someone if they “mind” doing something? If we really want to know what a person’s reaction is to our request, it would be better to ask, “How do you feel about doing xxx?”

4.
I would be willing …
I am comfortable … (or) I’m on board with … (or) I agree to

It's best to omit “willing” from your agreement unless you want to convey that you're doing something that's basically out of your best interests or far from your desire.

5.
No problem …
Sure … (or) Absolutely … (or) Of course … (or) I would be delighted to …

As acceptable as this expression is and as clear an understanding of it that everyone has, “No problem” is comprised of two negative words, one of which introduces a problematic premise to your reply.


Until next time,
The Wordsmith
Author of
SPEAK EASY - The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success