Friday, September 4, 2009

Speak Easy Note #1 - Back to School

It's Labor Day weekend. What better moment to start a new blog and write Speak Easy Note #1! Summer fun is coming to an end and it's a traditional time for more serious focus.

With bittersweet memories of the new school year's opening days, of daylight fading earlier and of cooler air on the skin, I am recapturing the sweetly metalic scent released when being the first to open a newly printed textbook. How fitting that my new book SPEAK EASY, The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success has just become available online through WordCraftPress.com this week.

On page 164 of SPEAK EASY there is an important reminder about the word "WHY" that I almost forgot to include in my book:

REMINDER:

Avoid asking questions that begin with "WHY" because they can be seen as accusatory. If you want to know why a person did something, ask instead:

"Tell me more about this and how you decided to ..."
or
"What were the reasons you chose ..."

"WHY" is the one open-ended question to eliminate from your repertoire.

When people want to know, "Why not WHY?" - I remind them of what it feels like to hear,

"Why didn't you take out the trash?"
"Why didn't you do your homework?"
"Why didn't you finish your report?"

I was in the post office this week, listening to a person waiting behind me in line on her cell phone. I heard her repeatedly responding to someone with one word questions following periods of listening:

"Why?"..........................................................................

"Why?"............................................................................

"Why?"............................................................................

I knew this conversation was going downhill and that the person on other end was getting more and more frustrated and angry.

What a huge amount of pushback can come from this three-letter word.

Tune in next week for another three-letter word that can cause tremendous trouble!

Happy end of summer.


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