For my final post of 2010, I had planned to create a Top Ten Communication 2011 New Year's Resolution List. It struck me that these could be selected from the Speak Easy Rules at the end of each chapter in SPEAK EASY, The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success. Then it struck me that an even better way to end the year would be to include all of the Rules from each of the thirteen chapters, so here they are:
Speak Easy Rules – Chapter Summaries
1 Keep It Level
> Experience a level playing field of communication.
> Be aware of how facial expressions say more than words.
> Monitor your voice tone to diminish dual messages.
> Express your reactions directly without apology.
> Focus on demonstrating respect in every communication.
2 Tell Them That You Really Heard
> Acknowledge what others are saying.
> Validate others’ positions before promoting your own.
> Concentrate on listening without jumping to your views.
> Realize you can validate others without agreeing with them.
> Separate high standards from disapproval and judgment.
3 There’s A Good Way To Say Everything
> Select direct ways to communicate.
> Realize that people appreciate hearing the truth.
> Recognize that there is no need to embellish or distort.
> Resolve to be comfortable talking about difficult topics.
> Use simpler descriptions and realize that less is more.
4 Replacing Deadly Habits
> Avoid passive or victimized language.
> Express yourself in the affirmative.
> Choose neutral rather than negatively-charged words.
> Recognize the pitfalls of giving people advice.
> Eliminate hackneyed ways of communicating.
5 Be Your Own Best Friend
> Get your sense of well-being from yourself.
> Disempower abusive communicators.
> Focus on what you have rather than on what is missing.
> Value the gains you receive from loss.
> Build strong systems of support.
6 Every Style Can Be Successful
> Appreciate what distinguishes you from other people.
> Believe there are many good approaches to all situations.
> Leverage your preferred style.
> See value in expanding your communication repertoire.
> Broaden your horizons to include wider views.
7 Armor For Abuse
> Dissolve people’s power to hurt you with their words.
> Recognize when silence would be the best response.
> Thank people, without defensiveness, for being open.
> Take care of your internal emotional trigger points.
> Refrain from measuring yourself harshly against others.
8 Refusing The Right Way
> Remain at ease when people make difficult requests.
> Validate people’s right to ask for what they want.
> Match your responses with what you can really deliver.
> Be clear when your intention is to refuse completely.
> Think through your response before you say yes.
9 Expanding Your “Who You Know” Quotient
> See NETWORKING as research and relationship building.
> Include solutions when discussing your challenges.
> Believe you have or can access the right contacts.
> Share what you know when you ask important questions.
> View NETWORKING as more than spreading your name.
10 Working It At Work
> Recognize how important positive communication is.
> Give 100% to being well-prepared.
> Speak with focus and direction.
> Base your communication on affirmative premises.
> Describe your strengths and actions in consistent terms.
11 Getting What You Want
> Think of negotiating as reaching agreement.
> Offer various options to get the results you want.
> Target what you say to your advantage.
> Define your objectives before engaging in negotiations.
> Recognize the value of patience and staying power.
12 Facing An Audience
> Challenge your belief system about public speaking.
> Realize how easy it is to talk about what you know well.
> See that stage fright enhances performance.
> Use true stories to illustrate your presentation points.
> Recognize how enthusiasm engages an audience.
13 Summing It All Up – Communication, Key To The Good Life
> Know that excellence in communication enriches life.
> Value what it takes to change communication patterns.
> See how universal basic human communication is.
> Take responsibility for what you say and how you say it.
> Be patient and determined with your communication goals.
Happy New Year!
Until 2011,
The Wordsmith
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