Bridge Over Troubled Water
by Simon & Garfunkel
When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
The following excerpt from Speak Easy, The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success available through Word Craft Press examines the value of support systems:
So often we're much harder on ourselves than others are on us. Rather than beat up on yourself, feed your guilt, or be a martyr; turn to others to gain support and perspective and to have a sounding board for your communications. You will frequently hear people describing their biggest challenges this way, “I could’ve never gotten through this without the help of others.”
Seeking support is better than going it alone. Recognize, though, that when you seek the backing, comfort and counsel of friends, family members and coworkers, you can also be building a case and fueling the fire. It’s clearly beneficial to ask for input from others about the way you’re communicating in challenging situations and to have an ear to listen. In tough times, there’s nothing more valuable than having a support system around you. If you don’t already have people that you turn to, rethink your views and practices, and build a strong support network for the good times and the bad.
Being able to turn to others to share your story or even just to unload can be advantageous and satisfying. Make sure you include people outside of the actual setting or situation to do this with and make sure you’re choosing people that you know you can trust for confidentiality. The benefit is to gain awareness and ease your heavy feelings. If your goal in bringing others into the picture is to vindicate yourself, add fuel to the fire, or defend your position, think carefully about what you’re choosing to say. If the outcome is escalation of an already tense situation or further pressure for you or others, then seeking support will be self-defeating and only add to your challenge.
The best type of support is objective. The less involved the person is with your story, the more able that person will be to listen and respond without bias and concern for personal repercussions. A natural instinct of someone connected to you personally is to come to your defense and to say what you want to hear. Cushions like that feel wonderful to sink into; just make sure there are also those in your support mix that are free from wanting to please you or protect their own self-interests.
There’s a good reason why people choose professional counsel and why professionals, like attorneys and psychologists, remove themselves from situations that can be seen as having conflicts of interest. Give yourself the cushion of support and choose supporters who can listen and respond as objectively as possible. Find people who will give you candid feedback and who can critique your communications and your strategies.
All that being said about objectivity and professional input, never underestimate the value of a good hug. To survive infancy, babies must be stroked and held. The human need for connection is universal. Enrich your life with balance and surround yourself with an array of support cushions. Take initiative, be responsible for yourself, seek input from others and make connections.
Until next week,
The Wordsmith
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