It has been a demanding week. My IRS audit was postponed until next week and the IRS examiner asked that I provide photos in addition to the previously submitted floor plans of my personal and business spaces to substantiate the percentage of professional usage I claim on my tax filings.
When I initially received the audit notification, one of the biggest concerns I had was that the IRS would disallow the percentages I had claimed. I thought of many creative ways to position my claim and realized finally that the truth is always the best place to be. When I took the photos of the work and personal spaces yesterday, the pictures showed all that I needed to support my claims. My percentages were exactly right and the TRUTH was the best tactic possible.
It is clear to me that the topic of the week for my blog posting is TRUTH and so I am including this excerpt from SPEAK EASY, The Communication Guide for Career and Life Success:
YOU CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON TRUE NORTH
(Southern charm definitely has its limitations)
The tendency to enhance or withhold the truth is a common occurrence which inevitably undermines optimum communication. In childhood, I was taught the importance of always telling the truth. In contrast, I was also taught the contradictory concept that telling a white lie is okay if it protects someone else’s feelings or advances a certain benign type of self-protection. Growing up in southwestern Virginia, I often observed a style of Southern disingenuous charm that veiled the truth. “Y’all come see us, ya’ hear? (pronounced ‘hee-ah’)” often actually meant, “We don’t really want your type crossing our doorstep.” Embellishing or distorting reality leads to trouble. Just like the children’s story of Pinocchio whose nose would grow every time he told a lie, the effect of avoiding or obscuring the truth will take over and the stage will be set for distortion or misrepresentation. It will become increasingly difficult to remember what you’ve actually said and the truth will become dangerously elusive.
If the truth is your first constant, your goal can then be finding the right and best way to tell the truth. The promise of honesty is a significant one to make to yourself and to others. Never distort. Never misrepresent. Trust the compass of truth in all of your communications.
There are three key elements to remember to ensure the potential of having a direct communication:
1. Always start with the truth.
2. Define and identify what you most want to express.
3. Examine what you say to make sure it feels authentic and in sync with who you are.
If you look at the key elements of what you want to communicate and find neutral language that avoids irritation or aggravation, using a level tone of voice, you will find that telling the truth is easier and better than an elaborate fabrication you invent to make the communication seem more palatable for you and the other person. People will thank you and appreciate hearing the truth, directly, in the right way. Reminding yourself of the equal two-way street of communication and of the importance of validating the other person remains the basic foundation for accomplishing the goal of truth in communication.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I may take next Friday off from blogging.
Until next time,
The Wordsmith
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